Chat me up...

Ok, so I was thinking about this the other night after over-hearing a very silly conversation about pick-up lines. I realised that no-one had ever used an actual pick-up line on me.

Now now, don;t feel sorry for me, I've had plenty of interest, just never anyone coming up to me in a bar and trying to hook up with me. It's odd.

I saw a wonderful site, once, with all sorts of comebacks for hideous chat-up lines. Stuff like-
"How do you like your eggs in the morning babe?"
"Unfertilised."
And I was dying to try them out, but never had the opportunity :-(

Anyway, with my novella currently being proofed and collated for publication, I thought maybe now was the ideal time to run a little competition...
So, have you got a truly hideous chat-up line, has someone tried to pick you up with one, did you have a great comeback or maybe you've got a failsafe pick-up line that works every time. I want you to comment on this post and share your experiences and opinions with me. Any post that particularly catches my eye will win a free e-copy of my book "A Bad Influence", plus I'll also pick a name out of all the people who have contributed and send them a copy too...

So go on then - chat me up!

Feeling hot hot hot

OK, it’s weird and there’s no reason for it, but the last few days I’ve been kinda… twitchy. Y’know, that nagging, tickly, if-only-I-wasn’t-so-busy kind of randiness that creeps up on you when you’re doing the ironing or cleaning the toilet or performing any one of a hundred mundane tasks that are totally unsexy.

I find my mind wandering to naked flesh and hot sweatiness as I wash the dishes, I lick my lips as I peel carrots, I find myself heavy breathing in the middle of a very dull television programme because I’m not concentrating on the programme, I’m running my own private viewing inside my head and it’s all XXX.

Maybe it’s this glorious hot weather we’re having lately. Every year, as soon as the days get long and the sun gets hot I find myself a little more willing to get naked. All these delicious men and women are going around in skimpy clothing and the general atmosphere is relaxed, luxuriant and permissive. The warmth of the day sinks through your skin, into that secret place in the pit of your stomach that initialises the spark plugs to your libido and sets your whole body warm and tingling…

Or maybe it’s just the fact that my other half, for work reasons, is just not interested: nothing like Sod’s Law for firing up your sex drive. What’s that saying? “Sex is like oxygen: you only miss it when you’re not getting any!”

Whatever the cause; it’s giving me some fantastic ideas for new stories. I’ve never been as inspired in my erotica as I am when I am brutally, mortally, sexually frustrated. So I guess, as far as you guys – my readers – go, long may it last. As far as I’m concerned, well, let’s just say I’m open to offers…

Ps- I’m not really open to offers, but I couldn’t deny myself such a perfect line to finish on. I’m more of a word-whore than I am a real-life one!